1 post tagged “sex”
I wanted to spend some time in the park yesterday but I didn't want to do so without something to read. I stopped by a news stand and picked up, what else but, a Cosmopolitan. It proudly has "The #1 women's magazine" printed above the bar code -- pretty high standards if you tell me. I wonder how seriously Cosmo takes itself because there's nothing in that magazine that merits "#1" especially when they proudly publish this:
I laughed and cried at tips like:
My woman made an audio recording of the sounds she made while pleasuring herself and then downloaded the track onto my MP3 player. -Darren, 27
What woman has the time of day for this? It's just about ridiculous to imagine a woman going through all the trouble of turning masturbation into an MP3 file, sneaking away with her boyfriend's iPod to download it, and think that it won't seem slightly desperate . . . People are odd.
And how about this one:
Act pleasantly surprised when you touch his penis by saying mmm or oooh. -Joelle, 25
Really? After 25 years that's all you've got? I bet you're exciting Joelle. Guys fall at their knees to have you coo to their cocks. Brilliant! She's pretty much saying every time you see it act like a little school girl and pretend like it's your first time every time. All guys love fucking virgins, or pretend, anyway.
I didn't read anything in the entire list that I'm just dying to try out. I've either done it before or it's just not worth injuring myself to find out about. I guess that's how you stay "#1" by printing worthless drivel.
Why do I insist on squandering $4.29 of my hard earned money?
