After every lunch I absolutely need some kind of desert. Something sweet to wet my whistle and keep me functioning. (It's almost scary how deperately I need this sugar -- I would kill, no joke.) So before I spend over a dollar for a can of Coke I thought I'd take the time to fill ya'll in on some fun happenings in my world. Tonight is phase one of naked mole rat. I will be paying someone to wax the goods for my darling-dear's and everyone else's benefit. (Being in a bikini is not as sexy when your bush is busting from the seems, literally.)
Other than that this week blows.
Later,
mJ
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
I wanted to spend some time in the park yesterday but I didn't want to do so without something to read. I stopped by a news stand and picked up, what else but, a Cosmopolitan. It proudly has "The #1 women's magazine" printed above the bar code -- pretty high standards if you tell me. I wonder how seriously Cosmo takes itself because there's nothing in that magazine that merits "#1" especially when they proudly publish this:
I laughed and cried at tips like:
My woman made an audio recording of the sounds she made while pleasuring herself and then downloaded the track onto my MP3 player. -Darren, 27
What woman has the time of day for this? It's just about ridiculous to imagine a woman going through all the trouble of turning masturbation into an MP3 file, sneaking away with her boyfriend's iPod to download it, and think that it won't seem slightly desperate . . . People are odd.
And how about this one:
Act pleasantly surprised when you touch his penis by saying mmm or oooh. -Joelle, 25
Really? After 25 years that's all you've got? I bet you're exciting Joelle. Guys fall at their knees to have you coo to their cocks. Brilliant! She's pretty much saying every time you see it act like a little school girl and pretend like it's your first time every time. All guys love fucking virgins, or pretend, anyway.
I didn't read anything in the entire list that I'm just dying to try out. I've either done it before or it's just not worth injuring myself to find out about. I guess that's how you stay "#1" by printing worthless drivel.
Why do I insist on squandering $4.29 of my hard earned money?
'sunny-mcSun-sun, son!'
Oh my, do I entertain myself.
No one seems to like their Vox enough to update as vigorously as they used to. I've been around this place a while (over a year, technically) and it's just not the same. No one has the same spirit anymore. All the changes kinda spurs a love-hate relationship: there are tons of great people here but no one wants to talk when they can't stand the sight of the aesthetic "improvements" implemented. I guess Six Apart underestimated simplicity and it's perfection, but no matter the clamor refuse to admit defeat. The only way to learn from your mistake is to fall on your ass. Here's to Six Apart's Vox's death . . . CHEERS!
In other news this place doesn't inspire me anymore. Bleh.
I know I'm not a cow. I am relatively attractive but I get the feeling sometimes my glasses hinder this. However, I am aware that they tend to filter out the more shallow of the bunch. The kind of guys who like me do so knowing up front I'm nearsighted and am not afraid to hide it.
Since getting contacts again I've noticed a subtle change. While cruising around Union Square, last Friday with Li I found that we were getting a lot of attention. I was accosted while walking back solo. I couldn't really understand where all this street love was coming from seeing as to how I was fully covered (jeans and a cami layered under a t-shirt). Usually to get so many hoots and hollers I have to be wearing something skimpy and on the verge of scandalous.
The final straw came during a train ride to pick up my boyfriend. A reasonably good looking (quirky and somewhat short) guy invited me to visit the bar he works. He left the train a stop early just to give me the address and his contact info. He insisted he wasn't stalking me and I believed him. Even if he did follow me all the way to boyfriend's building I'm more than sure he would've gotten his ass kicked. No worries.
More research must be done. I have to know how much wearing glasses factor into my overall ability to attract the opposite sex. Curious minds want to know.
I put in a decent workout this evening. The best part? I was able to exercise stress out through Yoga breathing and stretching . . . god, I miss it so much.
Okay, peeps here comes the promise:
I will workout at least 4 times a week. 1 out of 4 completed. :-)
Without my BlackBerry. :'-(
Addendum: Crisis averted, my honey-pie-sugar-plum is on his way to deliver it to me. :-)
Exhausted. Want to crawl back into bed with naked man. Boyfriend leaving me. Why am I here. Someone call in sick for me please?
